Rambling with a chance of thoughts

I have a wonderful friend that blogs pretty much everyday.  Though I don't read her blogs on a consistent daily basis, I do go back and read the ones I missed.  I enjoy them.  She always has a point, lays it out very well and does it with humor. 
I often think of things to blog about but when I do get the chance I go blank.  I feel like I need to have a plan laid out before I start.  Points that I want to highlight, examples to back them up (quotes would be good) so I end up freaking out and not doing anything at all. 
I guess it could be said that I just need to write/type down what ever I am thinking of (like I am doing here) but my thoughts always seems so scattered I'm afraid that it will be projected here.  In reality I really shouldn't be that worried about it.  I am sure no one reads this and if they do, it is because they know me.  If they know me then they know I am scatter brained.  And no, I am not a blonde.  Though my husband says that I have blonde roots. 
I guess I feel that if I am to blog I need to have a subject to blog about.  The only thing that I think I know about is myself and my family.  Yet half the time (if not more) I am not really sure I do really know about those subjects. 
You may ask - how in the world can you not know about yourself?  I am in the process of getting to know myself.  I thought at one point in my life I did.  I found out that I really didn't have a clue.  Once, in a RCIA (Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults.  I had to look up what it stood for.) the Sister that was leading it said "You have to stand for something or you will fall for everything".  I thought I totally understood what she was talking about.  Again, I found that I was wrong.
At that point in my life I thought I stood up for myself and my foundation, which I found out was made of sand.  I can't say it was built on sand, well I guess I can.  My foundation was built on sand and made of sand.  NOTHING lasted when the waves came in.  So really I stood for nothing and fell for everything. 
I do now try to stand for something - Christ.  He guides me now.  And with Him as my compass life is better.  It is only when I factor in myself that things get all screwed up.  Like, when I know the next right thing to do would be clean house, so I can be of service to Christ.  As a perk my family benefits.  They like that.  Thing is - I don't.  I HATE cleaning house.  It's boring, no one to talk to, takes effort and is never ending.  Besides the fact that nothing has a home and nothing is in it's home. 
I can make a mountain out of a mole hill very easily. 
Now give me work out side the home and I can do that!  Most of the time.  Like 90% of the time. Everything has a home and everything is in it's home.  There is a time line on when things need to be done.  Hey - structure!  That is maybe what I lack.  BUT, it is structure that I don't have to create.  It is already created for me so it gets done.  Here, I need to do that myself.  So, it doesn't get done.  Self will run riot huh?  See, factor in me and I can make a mess of it. 
Whew, I think I need a nap after all that thinking!