OK, I don't think this will really be a saga in the sense that it will be long but that title had more a ring to it than Sister Drama, which is really what this post is about.
OMG! I have an older sister that thinks she is gay now and a younger sister who doesn't want to live anymore. How much more drama can we add to this? Plenty, if I was still the same person I was four years ago. I would be on that band wagon in a minute, moaning and swooning every turn of how messed up my life is. Luckily for me I am not that person. Now I just whine & get dizzy. Not quite where I want to be when theatricals occur. Hence the reason I am now typing on this blog at 11:10 at night instead of in bed like I should be.
Stupidly while I was on Facebook this evening I clicked on my older sister's page/link. Like I said stupid. I already know what I am going to find, I already know that what I find will set me off, I already have been obsessing with the down-ward spirial of my sister. So I click. I am not disappointed. Post after post is made of how she "loves" her new found girlfriend and how she is "standing strong now" after "hiding it for so long". All she had to do was "kick that f******* guy to the curb" and "what took her so long" but she is "so happy now". She also can't wait to meet with her "girlfriend's family" for Thanksgiving. Ummmm...excuse me, just two years ago she was posting the VERY same about her new boyfriend & his family. So I guess if history hold true, in two years we will have another post of a new "whatever" and her excitement of meeting "who's ever family".
Is there a detection of anger here? I didn't think so either.
So I call my sponsor. Good move on my part. I rant (whine & get dizzy but not moaning & swooning). She listens. Helps me re-understand that my sister is in pain and protecting herself the best way she can right now. Ablete in a very bad way that will cause much pain and suffering later in life but protecting herself non-the-less. I start to calm down and actually feel bad for my sister going through this, though she herself doesn't see it.
I call my younger sister. Good/bad move on my part.
I start right in on how what I just went over with my sponsor, talk for a good five or seven minutes then finally let her have a say in the conversation. What she says floors me. She is really glad I called because she was just about to give up and end it all. Maybe that is why God had me call she says. She cries, I cry. We say how much we love eachother. I share with her how we may not be the family that we invision but that doesn't mean we don't love eachother. If that was the case then I wouldn't be so angry with our older sister. I just wouldn't care what she did with her life. We cry some more but have to hang up so she can get out in the cold damp evening at 8:10 to take her married "boyfriend" a sandwich when he gets off work.
Excuse me again but is there a connection here with the sucidial thoughts and the actions she is doing? She can't go volunteer somewhere, go to a bible study or work out but she can get out and take him a sandwich??? But it's ok because she won't even get out of the car, just give him the sandwhich called her for and leave.
I think I have ranted enough and will go swoon now.
