I Met My Son's Mother Today

'Fresh peas?  He grew up eating fresh peas?'

Laughter circles the table as Taylor looks down like he is examining his old lunch tray.

"They weren't even green!  More like a camouflage army brown!" He exclaims, his eyes as wide as they probably were the day he first encountered canned peas.

"We always ate frozen peas at home." His mom explains. "I'll never forget when he came home," here she scrunches her face then continues "and said 'Mom, I don't like their peas - they're not even green!"

I chuckle as my mind simultaneously see a little Taylor looking up at his mom bewildred at the brown peas served at school while also thinking 'my kids didn't even get canned peas served with their dinner.'  I don't like peas - fresh, frozen or canned,  so they were never served.  I also noted that this would be one of many, many experiences that Taylor grew up with that my children did not.  I don't chalk it up to being better - just different.

Nerves still wracked my body as I looked around at everyone around the table.  Taylor is there with his wife, Danielle, sitting to his right.   To the left of him is his mother, Kathleen and next to her is his dad, Mark.  Across the table, to Danielle's right is JB, then me and then Daniel, our yougest.  He was only one of our kids that was able to make it to Taylor's birthday get together.

I look at Mark & Kathleen - there sit the people that raised our baby.  Not that he is a baby any longer.  It was 24 years ago to this day that my heart began to ache and their's started to heal.

I remember laying on the couch, a few days from being released from the hospital - my milk was coming in, I had a hole in my heart the size of the earth and my arms literally felt empty.  As tears flowed from my eyes and soul I kept thinking, almost like a mantra "One person's pain is another person's joy".  Was it a prayer?  I don't know.  All I felt was an overwhelming void that cosumed my whole being yet knew at that same moment completeness encompassed another.  The gift of life had not been granted to this precious baby alone; but to a family.

I've never questioned why God chose us to give this baby life.  Actually - this may be the first time I have ever really considered that question.  I have just always known, from the very moment I realized I was pregnant, that I was to give him life and another was to raise him.  I don't know if I will ever know the answer to that particular question. But I think it may be one of many times where God takes a bad situation and makes it good.  The answer really doesn't matter to me. Because I met my son's mother today. God brought us together 24 years ago - today I got to say thank you.

Thank you Kathleen - for loving Taylor, caring for him, for raising him.  He truly is a miracle of God.

And foremost, I thank you my dear Lord Jesus for letting me be a part of this miracle.  My arms no longer ache, my heart is filled with joy and my hurt has been replaced with everlasting love.