God does not have grandchilden

How many times can someone start, delete and start typing on their blog?  So far I am at five.  We will have to see if this one gets posted. 

For the past two years I have been learning how to deal with life on life's term.  I marvel at my wonderful friend - she seems to know how to instictivly do this.  Even as a child she was able to look at herself and see what she was, what she was doing and either do something about it or accept it.  I on the other hand am just learning this.  But this is to be about life on life's terms, not self-evaluation.

I have come to understand that there is a season and a reason under the guidence of God. I do comprehend (and am VERY grateful)  that He will not abandon me and will guide me through all that is placed before me.  Even when I cause the problem myself!  I also know that I may never get to see the fruits of His plan, which causes me all kinds of frustation at times. 

A special friend has repeatedly told me that God does not have grandchilden.  I would smile, agree and nod my head.  About a month ago I finally realized what she was meaning.  I was watching my littlest sleeping, my heart hurting because he is such a beautiful child yet has so much rage and confusion in his little life.  Questions mounting larger in my head of what do I do to help this tiny person?  How can I be sure that he gets a better chance at life? How do I guide him, teach him, show him how to handle life?  So much he has seen and lived - how do I reach him in that dark corner that he so often goes to when he is overwelmed?

God does not have grandchildren.  I finally get it.  I do what I can with what I have at this point in my life. God will take care of him.  My littlest is not really mine...he is God's.  I, for what ever reason, was chosen by God to raise this precious boy.  Obviously God has more faith in me than I do.  And though the light bulb went on for me that day, I still struggle with life on life's terms.